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Vinyl eBook Cover,
written by Julio Mario Espinosa Jimenez
|Author(s)||Julio Mario Espinosa Jimenez|
|Publication date||February 15, 2017|
Vinyl is an eBook written by Julio Mario Espinosa Jimenez. In this work the character Teal is a Succubus.
- Title: Vinyl
- Author: Julio Mario Espinosa Jimenez
- Published By: Julio Espinosa
- Length: 30 Pages
- Format: eBook
- ASIN: B06WGRJ8TC
- Publishing Date: February 15, 2017
On his birthday Mark is going to receive a gift that is going to change his life forever; an old vinyl with a single song that summons a powerful demon that will turn him into its slave.
The following review was originally published by Tera on her Blog, A Succubi's Tale on March 21, 2017
Mark comes into possession of an old record that brings a succubus into his life. But things aren’t as he expects, being drawn into her plots and plans both willingly and not so. Inspiration can lead to darkness and the succubus is more than willing to lead Mark into her own.
The story is, at its core, a horror story. There’s really no erotica nor is there really much time spent outside of the horror itself. The core idea, the journey that Mark travels and what he creates, is a really good idea and perhaps in telling that story, along with that of the record, and Teal, the succubus of the work, there could be more here.
The issue is, regrettably, that this is a very difficult work to read for many reasons. One of the major ones is that there’s no quotes around the dialogue, rather the author places a “-” at the beginning of each. As well, there’s some confusion about who’s talking as well. But most of all, it’s the use of the English language here that causes the most difficulty of all.
It seems as if this author isn’t a native English speaker in that the dialogue has words missing from it, the narration is short, disjointed and very hard to follow much of the time. I’d almost call the narration “blunt” in that actions are told in a few short words much of the time. That’s a shame because, as I’ve said, the idea is a really good one, but the language used doesn’t make the story flow, the characters have depth or the plot to move well overall. It feels like there was never really much in the way of editing here, and that’s a real shame.
The succubus of the work, Teal, is evil in many ways, that being wrapped in a lovely package with long nails and teeth that take hold of Mark as the story unfolds. But there’s really little told of her until the very last few pages where some revelations are given, the reasons for what she wanted are finally understood. Like so many of the other characters, including Mark, her dialogue is hard to follow, her character is really two-dimensional and in the end there’s not as much told, or offered, as there could have been.
The author would be well served to have this work edited, to improve the flow of the story, the depth of the characters and most of all, create a clearer and more involved narrative than there is. The core idea is, really, interesting and I liked it quite a lot. But getting through the story, to enjoy it, I really couldn’t manage and that’s the real shame here.
Two out of five pitchforks.
There’s a lot of editing needed to make the story better than it is. The overall idea is really very good, but it’s very difficult to parse the story and understand the dialogue. Overall, the story is just written very oddly, the dialogue is abrupt and doesn’t quite sound right overall. There’s a feeling that this author isn’t a native English speaker and perhaps having someone edit this work that understands the nuances would be a good idea.
I think a couple of editing passes, some expansion of the storytelling, and clearer dialogue would make this a much better read. As things are, there’s just too many issues for the story to really come alive, or the characters to be fully explored.